Christmas 1949
December 24, 1949….12:20 P.M. EST
“There’s no Santa; Mom and Dad are Santa.” Butch tells me as we build a snowman in the back yard at 514 Church Street in Saint Bernard, Ohio.
We live with Grandma Talon. Grandma Talon has a two story white clap-board house with a big fenced in back yard full of flowers during the spring and summer, a stone fish pond and an arboretum. There is a wood porch across the full front of the house with a swing on one end. Inside the front door is a large foyer with the only closet on the ground floor. There are steps on the right leading to two bedrooms and a bath upstairs, there is even a small kitchen in one of the bedrooms. This is where Grandma Talon lives. Down stairs the living room and dinning room are large with hardwood floors covered with flowered area rugs. There’s a small kitchen with a Formica top kitchen table and four chairs, a full bath and an enclosed back porch. Mom and Dad sleep in what used to be the dining room, and Butch and I sleep on an enclosed back porch on two steel cots. We all keep our hang-up clothes in the front hall closet. We don’t have a refrigerator; we have an icebox on the outside back porch off the kitchen that the Iceman fills twice a week in the summer and once a week in the winter with a big block of ice.“Yes there is a Santa Claus,” the Iceman says as he climbs the back porch with a block of ice. “Don’t listen to your brother.”
“Yah, your wrong Santa is coming tonight and he’s bringing me presents.” I shout at Butch.
Butch doesn’t say anything, not wanting to get the Iceman any further involved in his big brother revelation.
He waits until the Iceman leaves us with a jolly reassurance. “I’m sure Santa will come to see you, Merry Christmas.”
“I can prove it; I can prove that Mom and Dad are Santa.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes, I can; come with me.” We go in the back door, through the kitchen, through Mom and Dads bedroom and into the living room. Butch climbs up on the sofa that’s against the wall and looks over the back. “Look here!”
I climb up on the sofa and look over the back. To my surprise and confusion there are six or eight Christmas presents all wrapped in pretty Christmas paper. I am speechless; I twist my body and sit on the sofa, legs dangling above the floor.
I sit looking at the decorated tree not knowing what to think. “How could this be, Mom and Dad are Santa, Christmas isn’t for real?”
Grandma Talon comes down the steps and with a harsh voice tells me to go back outside. “I have a lot of work to do to get ready for tonight’s dinner.”
The cousins come to the house and we have a big Christmas Dinner on a long table set up in what used to be the dinning room but now is Mom and Dad’s bedroom. Everyone is happy and loud. “There is more to Christmas then just Santa.”
“What’s that noise, on the roof?” Dad interrupts the loud talk. No one says anything; everyone listens and looks to the ceiling. “Thump, Thump, Thump,” a sound form the front porch.
“Kid there’s someone on our porch, go see who’s making all that noise.”
Five of us run to the door, Butch opens the door and makes a quick back step retreat. “It’s Santa! He’s huge!” He’s wearing a red suit with white trim, big black boots and bells ringing as he stepped in the door. “He’s Huge.” He has a large bag over his shoulder which I know was filled with presents. “It’s Santa, there is a Santa, he’s right her in our house. He’s huge!”
I look at Butch, he’s in shock; he’s backed against the wall staring at Santa in amazement. Santa pushes his way into the living room give a few “Ho, Ho’s”, asks if we’ve all been good, empties his bag of gifts on the floor and passes out one to each of us kids. “You kids have been so good this year that I’ve got more presents for you, I couldn’t get them all on my sleigh so I came last night and hid the rest of them over here.”
Santa walks over to the sofa and with Dad’s help moves it away from the wall, bends over and retrieved more presents.
I look at Butch. His eyes are wide and sparkling; he’s staring at Santa, his mouth hanging open, his hands fumbled with the wrapping on his present.
I lean closer. “There is a Santa Claus.”
Monday, December 10, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Alone
Alone
May 1954
This was going to be a great summer, Butch and I are going to get to go to camp. We'd never been on a vacation, or to camp. This year, we were going to camp, Camp Anachegie somewhere in Wisconsin. I had no idea were Wisconsin was or what camp was going to be like. I just knew I was going to camp, and I would be able to swim every day, paddle a canoe, explore the woods, and ride horses. That’s right; one of the campsites was Cowboy Camp. Each camper was assigned a horse that he rode and took care of every day. I had watched cowboys on TV, seen them in the movies, played cowboys in the yard, and now I was going to have the chance to be cowboy... for six weeks. This was going to be great for six weeks.
We had received a brochure on Camp Anachegie and Butch and I had gone over it and studied every detail. Dad had explained that he and Grace Plotner were going to get married and go on a honeymoon and Butch and I would go to camp so they could get to know each other better. This didn’t really make much sence to me but it didn’t have to “I was going to camp.”
Our journey started from Champaign, Illinois and we headed north through Illinois and up into Wisconsin. Camp Anachegie was located somewhere around Madison, Wisconsin, wherever Madison, Wisconsin was. This is probably the first time that Butch and I traveled in a car and didn't pick on each other and fight with each other. We were so excited about going to camp, hell we were just excited to go anywhere. Before the arrival of Grace Plotner, there wasn’t much money around our house so we were lucky to just have the basics. Vacations were things that other people went on, and I don’t really remember being envious or giving it much thought. We had always been active and we had each other, so there were plenty of adventures in our life, but this one was going to be special.
As we traveled north out of Illinois and into Wisconsin the cornfields were replaced by forests. There were trees everywhere, and I envisioned Camp Anachegie buried deep in the woods. Dad was driving us up to Camp Anachegie, turning around and driving back to Champaign the same day. He and Grace Plotner were getting married next week. With Butch and me at camp and Rooney in Cincinnati with Grandma Grinkmeyer, they could have six weeks to themselves.
As all young kids do, we kept asking Dad, “Are we almost there yet Dad?”, and finely somewhere north of Madison, Wisconsin he said, ” We’re almost there boys.”
About five minutes later, Dad spotted a sign, Camp Anachegie, with an arrow pointing to the right. We turned down a dirt road lined on both sides with tall green trees. The road wound up hills, down valleys, and across creeks, then as we crested a hill the forest opened up to a green pasture, and a huge sparkling blue lake surrounded by tall green and yellow trees. Situated at the edge of the lake were several buildings made of logs, and a brown sandy beach that extended across the face of the lake. It was beautiful. Better then it looked in the brochure.
Butch and I were on the edge of the backseat leaning over the front seat pointing in screaming “look at that, look at the canoes, look down there to the right there are Indian tepees.” Dad had a huge smile on his face, seeing us so excited. I’m sure my Dad was as proud as he could be seeing two of his boys about to experience a wonderful stay at camp.
We drove up to the biggest building parked the car and jumped out. Butch and I immediately ran down by the lake. There were canoes; one of them was even made out of that birch bark, like the Indians in the movies had. There were rowboats, and there was a floating raft out in the lake with a diving board on it. The lake was roped off with swimming areas and there was even a chair on stilts for the life guard to sit in. I was a real good swimmer, Dad had taught me to swim in the river when we went fishing back in Cincinnati, and then I swam in the pool when Dianne Mason, boy she was pretty, took us swimming when we stayed in Cincinnati with Grandma. I had seen the bigger kids use a diving board at the pool, maybe I’d become a diver while I was here at camp.
Dad hollered over to us, "You boys go ahead and look around, but don’t get in the water, I’m going to go in and get you registered for camp.”
Butch hollered back, "OK Dad, we’ll be right here, and we won’t go in the water.”
I ask Butch, “Where are the horses, I don’t see any horses, we will get to ride horses won’t we?”
“There probably kept somewhere else, maybe over by the tepees, don’t worry about it”.
Butch started skipping rocks across the lake, each time they’d skip; he’d count out “one, two, three.”
I picked up a rock, leaned over a little to the side like he did and threw it is hard as I could, “Kerr-plunked.” I never could get my rocks to skip.
“Who do you think lives in those Indian Te-pees over there? Do you think they’re real Indians over there?” I asked Butch knowing that he didn’t know anymore about it then I did, but I was so excited I just need to know everything right now.
“I don’t know,” he replied and skipped another rock, “one, two, three, four.”
“OK boys; come on over here”, Dad called. “I’ve got you registered, but they won’t be ready to take you to your campsites until three o’clock when all the other campers are arriving. Mrs. Elkins made some sandwiches that you can have for lunch, and wait for the other campers to arrive. I need to drive back to Champaign, I need to get back before it gets dark. You think you’ll be OK here for a couple of hours by yourself’s?”
“Sure dad, we’ll be fine, you go on. I’ll look after Kobe.” Butch assured him.
Dad slapped us on the backs, and told us to behave ourselves and have a good time, “I’ll see in six weeks.”
It was a little past twelve o’clock, so Butch and I sat down, where it looked like campers gathered for the evening campfires, and had our lunch. Butch asks me if I’d rather stayed in the Indian Village since I liked Indian so much.
“No, I think had rather be a cowboy, I hope they don’t give me one of those big horses, I’d rather have the small one, but not too small. Do you think real Indians live in those Tee-pees?”
We finished our lunch and I started running up and down the carved out bleachers that surrounded the campfire. About an hour later an older guy came over and introduced himself as Billy, one of the camp counselors. Billy was about 18 years old, red headed and a lot of freckles just like Berry back home. His head had an odd shape though, kind of flat on the sides and came to a broad point on the top. I would learn later that the other counselors called him “Canoe Head”, and it made total sense. He was a college student and he did this in the summer for college credit and he got paid he told us.
Billy explained that each village had its own counselors, and he was going to be in Cowboy Camp this week. He went on to explain that if Butch would pick up his stuff he’d helped him get settled over in Cowboy Camp and get first pick of the horses and his bunk.
“I’m going to Cowboy Camp too”, I informed Billy
“No you’re going to be in Eagles Nest”, Billy said.
“No I’m with Butch, we’re together, we’re brothers and we’re both signed up for Cowboy Camp. Our Dad just signed us up, but he had to go back to Champaign”
“No, I've got the paper’s right here, and your signed up for Eagles Nest, you have to be 10 years old to stay in Cowboy Camp, and it says here your 9 years old. So you can’t be in Cowboy’s Camp.” Billy explained. “There will be another counselor here in a few minutes to take you Eagles Nest”“Pick up your stuff Butch; I’m taking you to Cowboy Camp.”
Butch picked up his bag, looked at me and said, “You’ll be OK, maybe you can get in the Indian Village and you’ll be able to sleep in a tee-pee.”
“No, you have to be 10 years old to stay and Indian Village,” said Billy.
Butch and the counselor walked off up a small path and disappeared into the woods. As they disappeared I felt something that I had never felt before, I know now it was fear. I didn’t know that that was what it was. I just knew it didn’t feel good. I felt my face start scrunch up, and I felt tears coming into my eyes. But I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t allow myself to cry.I sucked my lower lip in between my teeth and a bit on it, I took a deep breath, and I said to myself, “You’ll be OK; Butch said you’ll be OK.” I sat back down on the bench and kept repeating to myself ”You’ll be OK.”
“Dad said we would stay together, he expects us to stay together; Dad’s going to be mad at these people when he finds out. I wish he were here now, he’d get me into Cowboy Camp.”
About twenty minutes later, I saw another young guy approaching me he hollered out, "Are you Kobe Grinkmeyer, come with me we’re going to Eagles Nest.”
I grabbed my stuff, and followed him up the hill. He seemed so happy and glad to see me. I could feel some of the pain starting to go away. I started to believe, “I’ll be OK.”
We climbed up the hill. About halfway up, he said , “My name is Nathan, your Kobie Grinkmeyer, let me help you if you bag.” He reached down and took my bag.
Nathan looked to be a college student as well, but he looked much more like what a camp counselor should look like. He was close to six foot tall, had dark wavy hair and a good tan, and his head was round like it was suppose to be.
“You’re in the new building, and since you’re the first one here you can choose any bed you want,”There were two cinderblock buildings whit tin roofs and Nathan took me to the one on the far right. Inside, were rows of bunk beds with an open area in the center, and what look like a bathroom in the back.
“If I were you, I’d take one over here near the back so you don’t have so far walked if you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And I take a lower bunk, so you don’t have to climb up and down all week.”
I did as Nathan suggested, and threw my suitcase on a lower bunk. “I’m going to be here for six weeks.” I corrected Nathan.
“Six weeks, are you sure?” he asked.
“Ya, my brother and I are here for six weeks, he’s in Cowboy Camp. I was supposed to be in Cowboy Camp, so I’ll probably be moving soon.” I told him in a weakening voice. I stopped with that so as not to cry.
“Well, OK, you can just hang around here, the other campers should be arriving in about half an hour. I have to go do some things at the administrative building . But I’ll be back to check on you later. I’ll look into the Cowboy Camp mix-up.”
Nathan walked out the door, and I looked around the empty building, which looked nice enough and that feeling started to come back. I sucked in my lower lip between my teeth and bit. I opened my suitcase, took out a pair of socks, and put them up my face. They smelled like home. I took out an old T-shirt that was warn thin, Mrs. Elkins had wanted to throw it away in the rag bag, but I wouldn’t let her. I rubbed it up and down my arm, and it made me feel better. I wandered what Butch was doing now and if he missed me as much as I missed him. I started to cry, but I couldn’t cry, “Men don’t cry”. Dad had told Butch and me that when he was in the war he saw his buddies get killed right next to him and he didn’t cry. “If you don’t cry when you see your buddies killed, you don’t cry over small things” , he told us.
I bit my lip harder and didn’t cry, “Men don’t cry over small stuff, and nobody is getting killed here. Besides Nathan is looking into it for me.”
A half an hour later, the building started to fill up with other campers; just like Nathan said it would. As each group came in they would scramble for their beds, laughing and hollering, it seemed like most of them already knew each other. I later learned that they came from church groups, and school groups, and so they did know each other. Within an hour the building was full and a boy by the name of Brett took the bunk above mine.
He seemed like a nice guy, he was part of the church group and knew a lot of the other boys. He asked me my name and introduced me around the some of his friends. I put the socks and T-shirt back in the suitcase and followed Brett around.
“I was OK, just like Butch said it would be, but why didn’t he come with me to Eagles Nest? Maybe they didn’t allow 10 year olds in Eagles Nest... that must be it.”
Nathan stuck his head in the door and hollered, “Its dinner time guys, come on lets go to dinner. Follow me”There must have been 20 boys in our building so with the other building there were about 40 of us walking down the hill heading for this long narrow building that they called The Mess Hall. Inside there were long tables with plastic plates, plastic glasses and silverware. I just stayed with Brett. In the center of the table was a big medal pitcher full of what they called “bug juice”. We all got in a line that went to the front of the mess hall and these older guys put food on our plates. I just followed Brett.
Nathan explained, “There’s bug juice and the pitcher, if you want milk it’s in the machine upfront.”Brett didn’t go to get milk, so I didn’t go to get milk. I drank “bug juice”.
After dinner we fooled around in the area outside our building, climbing ropes, and running through the woods. They had a chinning bar, which I was pretty good at. I could chin myself more times then any of Brett’s friends. I started to feel like a part of the group.
As it started to get dark Nathan told us to get ready to go to campfire. “Put on a jacket, it will get cold tonight and bring your flashlights, because it will be real dark when we come back. Don’t turn your flashlights on at campfire or it will be taken away for the rest of the week.”
I rumaged through my suit case and got my metal flashlight. I had never owned a flashlight before, we always had to use someone else’s when we played kick the can. The brochure had been very clear that every camper had to bring a flash light, and I had mine. I had wanted to use it at home but Dad wouldn’t let me for fear that I would ware out the batteries, after all I was going to need it for six weeks at camp.
We all marched down to the campfire area. There must have been 100 boys there, all sitting in a big horseshoe going up 10 rows around a big campfire, it was huge. All the counselors were introduced, and each one told us about some of the things we were going to be doing over the next week. We sang songs, church songs and camping songs. Then one of the counselor’s told a ghost story. It was scary, but it was fun. I saw Butch over on the other side of the campfire with his group. They didn’t have on cowboy hats or cowboy boots that I could see, but he seemed to be having good time and so was I.
The head counselor explain that the bugle would blow at 7:30 in the morning and we were to brush your teeth and head down to the lake in our under ware and flip flops for a bath. After the bath we would go back to our camp area, get dressed and go to breakfast before the day’s activities.
Nathan gathered us together, and we headed back to Eagles Nest with our flashlights on. There was a lot a lot of laughing and kidding, mouth farts, armpit farts, and just general 10-year-old boy fun. We made our way back to our building, and Nathan told us it was time to get ready for bed. I went to the bathroom, came back got into my PJ’s and crawled in the bed. Overall, it had been a good day, more ups then downs, and in general, I felt I would be OK. Often in the distance I heard the bugle playing taps, and I thought “This is neat, this is real camp.”I fell asleep.
In the morning I was awakened by the sound of the bugle, and Nathan screaming, “Hit theDeck, it’s time to get up, on the beach in five minutes in your underwear and flip-flops for a bath.”Although I was awake, I didn’t move, I didn’t open my eyes, and I hoped I was dreaming, I hoped that I was really home on Patricia Court. “I don’t want to be at camp I thought to myself.”
“How could this have happened, I went to the bathroom before I went to bed, I didn’t drink any the water before I went to bed, I only had one glass of “bug juice”. I did just like Dad told me to do, why did this happen to me?”
I had wet the bed; I had been waiting the bed since Mom died. I even wet the bed when Butch slept with me, and he used to complain to Dad, but there was nothing I could seem to do about it. I didn’t move, I didn’t know what to do, if I got up and other boys would see my PJ’s all wet, they would smell that smell, and they would laugh at me, they wouldn’t like me anymore, it wouldn’t matter that I could do more chin-up then them. They would think I was a baby, I wet the bed like a baby.
I pushed by face deep in the pillow, “I wish that I was at home.” At least there, I know how to deal with this; Dad and Butch have grown to expect this every morning. Butch wets the bed sometimes too. I closed my eyes tight, and I asked God to take this away, this cold wet feeling, this smell that I had learned to live with at-home, but was not prepared to share with these boys. I was cold. I was wet. I was ashamed. I was alone. I was here for six weeks. Again I asked God to take it away, I didn’t pray to Jesus or Mary anymore they had let me down when it really counted, I spoke to God himself. I closed my eyes real tight and prayed, “Please God make this go away and never come back again.” Nothing happened; I was still wet and cold.
"Where was Butch, why wasn’t he here? Why wasn’t I at Cowboy Camp with him, Dad had registered us that way.”Brett poked me and said, “Kobe it’s time to get up, wake up.”
"OK", I said, “I’m getting up” and I rolled over on my back. Now my butt was wet too.
Brett moved off to the bathroom, and I quickly got out of bed, grabbed some clean underwear stuffed my PJ’s under the blankets, slipped on my flip-flops and headed for the door.
I thought to myself, “I hope they don’t smell it, I hope it dries before tonight, I hope it doesn’t happen again, tonight. God please don’t let this happen again tomorrow.”
Nathan, led us down to the beach. Although what had happened was all over me no one seemed to notice, no one seemed to smell what was on me, maybe I would be OK.
At the lakeside everyone’s stripped off their underwear, set them on top other flip-flops, grabbed a bar of soap and ran into the cold lake for their early-morning bath. It crossed my mind that maybe the reason we were doing this, was that every body wet the bed last night.
The days at Camp Anacjegie were full of fun, swimming, canoeing, nature hikes, crafts, and just plain fun. But each night after campfire I would crawl into a wet smelly bed, and hope that it would remain my secret through the end of the week. I prayed to God and my dead Mom to look over me and to not let it happen to me again tonight. It was wet in the middle of the mattress so I would try to stay to the side to avoid the wet. Each night the smell got worse and I feared that the other boys would smell it. If I can just stop drinking bug juice maybe it will stop.
On the third morning as I was coming back from the lake bath and Nathan grabbed my arm. “Come outside with me Kobie”.
“Kobie, I know you’ve got up problem and I’d like to help you with it.”
Oh no, there’s that feeling again, he knows, and he’s going to tell everyone.
“I think you and I need to take the mattress off your bed and hang it over the line behind the building and send your sheets and blankets to the laundry. We can do that when the other boys go to breakfast this morning, and it can stay our secret. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes sir, that’s okay with me.”
“Starting tonight, I’m going to wake you up around midnight and take you to the bathroom and we’ll see if that doesn’t stop this problem, is that okay with you Kobe.”
“Yes sir, that’s okay with me.”
Nathan and I waited until the last boy left building, I told Brett that I had to get something and I would catch up, so save me a seat next to him at breakfast.Nathan helped me carry the mattress out back, it smelled bad, but Nathan didn’t say anything. He gave me a cloth bag and I stuffed the sheets, blanket and my PJ’s into it. He took the bag and told me to go catch up with the other boys.
For the next six weeks Nathan or some other guy got me up every night at midnight, and I went to the bathroom . I wish I could say, that was the end of the problem, but it wasn’t . I had many more accident, but Nathan and I took care of it just as we had before. When I prayed at night I thanked God and my dead Mom for Nathan, I stopped asking for their help with my problem. I had learned those kind of prayers just don’t work like Butch has said when Mom died.
I don’t know why I had such a bed-wetting problem . I suspected had something to do with something that happened with Mom. I don’t know. At home, after camp, my bed-wetting problem continued. When I was in ninth grade Mom and Dad bought a metallic sheet that went under my regular sheet and when I’d peed an alarm would go off. It really didn’t do any good. I guess the alarm was supposed to wake me up and stop me from peeing, but instead it woke everyone else up and I had to get up and put on clean sheets before everyone went back to bed. It only lasted for about a week and then I was back to getting up each morning in a wet bed and washing my sheets.I continued to wet the bed off and on up until I went to junior high school. I would get up early each morning, strip my sheets, take then to the washing machine, and then the dryer and remake my bed all before I went to school. I became pretty good at doing laundry.
As I look back on my problem, and I suspect most kids have some kind of problem, the worst part of it was that it was my problem. I had full ownership of it, I shouldered full responsibility for it; only Nathan showed any willingness to make my problem his problem.
May 1954
This was going to be a great summer, Butch and I are going to get to go to camp. We'd never been on a vacation, or to camp. This year, we were going to camp, Camp Anachegie somewhere in Wisconsin. I had no idea were Wisconsin was or what camp was going to be like. I just knew I was going to camp, and I would be able to swim every day, paddle a canoe, explore the woods, and ride horses. That’s right; one of the campsites was Cowboy Camp. Each camper was assigned a horse that he rode and took care of every day. I had watched cowboys on TV, seen them in the movies, played cowboys in the yard, and now I was going to have the chance to be cowboy... for six weeks. This was going to be great for six weeks.
We had received a brochure on Camp Anachegie and Butch and I had gone over it and studied every detail. Dad had explained that he and Grace Plotner were going to get married and go on a honeymoon and Butch and I would go to camp so they could get to know each other better. This didn’t really make much sence to me but it didn’t have to “I was going to camp.”
Our journey started from Champaign, Illinois and we headed north through Illinois and up into Wisconsin. Camp Anachegie was located somewhere around Madison, Wisconsin, wherever Madison, Wisconsin was. This is probably the first time that Butch and I traveled in a car and didn't pick on each other and fight with each other. We were so excited about going to camp, hell we were just excited to go anywhere. Before the arrival of Grace Plotner, there wasn’t much money around our house so we were lucky to just have the basics. Vacations were things that other people went on, and I don’t really remember being envious or giving it much thought. We had always been active and we had each other, so there were plenty of adventures in our life, but this one was going to be special.
As we traveled north out of Illinois and into Wisconsin the cornfields were replaced by forests. There were trees everywhere, and I envisioned Camp Anachegie buried deep in the woods. Dad was driving us up to Camp Anachegie, turning around and driving back to Champaign the same day. He and Grace Plotner were getting married next week. With Butch and me at camp and Rooney in Cincinnati with Grandma Grinkmeyer, they could have six weeks to themselves.
As all young kids do, we kept asking Dad, “Are we almost there yet Dad?”, and finely somewhere north of Madison, Wisconsin he said, ” We’re almost there boys.”
About five minutes later, Dad spotted a sign, Camp Anachegie, with an arrow pointing to the right. We turned down a dirt road lined on both sides with tall green trees. The road wound up hills, down valleys, and across creeks, then as we crested a hill the forest opened up to a green pasture, and a huge sparkling blue lake surrounded by tall green and yellow trees. Situated at the edge of the lake were several buildings made of logs, and a brown sandy beach that extended across the face of the lake. It was beautiful. Better then it looked in the brochure.
Butch and I were on the edge of the backseat leaning over the front seat pointing in screaming “look at that, look at the canoes, look down there to the right there are Indian tepees.” Dad had a huge smile on his face, seeing us so excited. I’m sure my Dad was as proud as he could be seeing two of his boys about to experience a wonderful stay at camp.
We drove up to the biggest building parked the car and jumped out. Butch and I immediately ran down by the lake. There were canoes; one of them was even made out of that birch bark, like the Indians in the movies had. There were rowboats, and there was a floating raft out in the lake with a diving board on it. The lake was roped off with swimming areas and there was even a chair on stilts for the life guard to sit in. I was a real good swimmer, Dad had taught me to swim in the river when we went fishing back in Cincinnati, and then I swam in the pool when Dianne Mason, boy she was pretty, took us swimming when we stayed in Cincinnati with Grandma. I had seen the bigger kids use a diving board at the pool, maybe I’d become a diver while I was here at camp.
Dad hollered over to us, "You boys go ahead and look around, but don’t get in the water, I’m going to go in and get you registered for camp.”
Butch hollered back, "OK Dad, we’ll be right here, and we won’t go in the water.”
I ask Butch, “Where are the horses, I don’t see any horses, we will get to ride horses won’t we?”
“There probably kept somewhere else, maybe over by the tepees, don’t worry about it”.
Butch started skipping rocks across the lake, each time they’d skip; he’d count out “one, two, three.”
I picked up a rock, leaned over a little to the side like he did and threw it is hard as I could, “Kerr-plunked.” I never could get my rocks to skip.
“Who do you think lives in those Indian Te-pees over there? Do you think they’re real Indians over there?” I asked Butch knowing that he didn’t know anymore about it then I did, but I was so excited I just need to know everything right now.
“I don’t know,” he replied and skipped another rock, “one, two, three, four.”
“OK boys; come on over here”, Dad called. “I’ve got you registered, but they won’t be ready to take you to your campsites until three o’clock when all the other campers are arriving. Mrs. Elkins made some sandwiches that you can have for lunch, and wait for the other campers to arrive. I need to drive back to Champaign, I need to get back before it gets dark. You think you’ll be OK here for a couple of hours by yourself’s?”
“Sure dad, we’ll be fine, you go on. I’ll look after Kobe.” Butch assured him.
Dad slapped us on the backs, and told us to behave ourselves and have a good time, “I’ll see in six weeks.”
It was a little past twelve o’clock, so Butch and I sat down, where it looked like campers gathered for the evening campfires, and had our lunch. Butch asks me if I’d rather stayed in the Indian Village since I liked Indian so much.
“No, I think had rather be a cowboy, I hope they don’t give me one of those big horses, I’d rather have the small one, but not too small. Do you think real Indians live in those Tee-pees?”
We finished our lunch and I started running up and down the carved out bleachers that surrounded the campfire. About an hour later an older guy came over and introduced himself as Billy, one of the camp counselors. Billy was about 18 years old, red headed and a lot of freckles just like Berry back home. His head had an odd shape though, kind of flat on the sides and came to a broad point on the top. I would learn later that the other counselors called him “Canoe Head”, and it made total sense. He was a college student and he did this in the summer for college credit and he got paid he told us.
Billy explained that each village had its own counselors, and he was going to be in Cowboy Camp this week. He went on to explain that if Butch would pick up his stuff he’d helped him get settled over in Cowboy Camp and get first pick of the horses and his bunk.
“I’m going to Cowboy Camp too”, I informed Billy
“No you’re going to be in Eagles Nest”, Billy said.
“No I’m with Butch, we’re together, we’re brothers and we’re both signed up for Cowboy Camp. Our Dad just signed us up, but he had to go back to Champaign”
“No, I've got the paper’s right here, and your signed up for Eagles Nest, you have to be 10 years old to stay in Cowboy Camp, and it says here your 9 years old. So you can’t be in Cowboy’s Camp.” Billy explained. “There will be another counselor here in a few minutes to take you Eagles Nest”“Pick up your stuff Butch; I’m taking you to Cowboy Camp.”
Butch picked up his bag, looked at me and said, “You’ll be OK, maybe you can get in the Indian Village and you’ll be able to sleep in a tee-pee.”
“No, you have to be 10 years old to stay and Indian Village,” said Billy.
Butch and the counselor walked off up a small path and disappeared into the woods. As they disappeared I felt something that I had never felt before, I know now it was fear. I didn’t know that that was what it was. I just knew it didn’t feel good. I felt my face start scrunch up, and I felt tears coming into my eyes. But I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t allow myself to cry.I sucked my lower lip in between my teeth and a bit on it, I took a deep breath, and I said to myself, “You’ll be OK; Butch said you’ll be OK.” I sat back down on the bench and kept repeating to myself ”You’ll be OK.”
“Dad said we would stay together, he expects us to stay together; Dad’s going to be mad at these people when he finds out. I wish he were here now, he’d get me into Cowboy Camp.”
About twenty minutes later, I saw another young guy approaching me he hollered out, "Are you Kobe Grinkmeyer, come with me we’re going to Eagles Nest.”
I grabbed my stuff, and followed him up the hill. He seemed so happy and glad to see me. I could feel some of the pain starting to go away. I started to believe, “I’ll be OK.”
We climbed up the hill. About halfway up, he said , “My name is Nathan, your Kobie Grinkmeyer, let me help you if you bag.” He reached down and took my bag.
Nathan looked to be a college student as well, but he looked much more like what a camp counselor should look like. He was close to six foot tall, had dark wavy hair and a good tan, and his head was round like it was suppose to be.
“You’re in the new building, and since you’re the first one here you can choose any bed you want,”There were two cinderblock buildings whit tin roofs and Nathan took me to the one on the far right. Inside, were rows of bunk beds with an open area in the center, and what look like a bathroom in the back.
“If I were you, I’d take one over here near the back so you don’t have so far walked if you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. And I take a lower bunk, so you don’t have to climb up and down all week.”
I did as Nathan suggested, and threw my suitcase on a lower bunk. “I’m going to be here for six weeks.” I corrected Nathan.
“Six weeks, are you sure?” he asked.
“Ya, my brother and I are here for six weeks, he’s in Cowboy Camp. I was supposed to be in Cowboy Camp, so I’ll probably be moving soon.” I told him in a weakening voice. I stopped with that so as not to cry.
“Well, OK, you can just hang around here, the other campers should be arriving in about half an hour. I have to go do some things at the administrative building . But I’ll be back to check on you later. I’ll look into the Cowboy Camp mix-up.”
Nathan walked out the door, and I looked around the empty building, which looked nice enough and that feeling started to come back. I sucked in my lower lip between my teeth and bit. I opened my suitcase, took out a pair of socks, and put them up my face. They smelled like home. I took out an old T-shirt that was warn thin, Mrs. Elkins had wanted to throw it away in the rag bag, but I wouldn’t let her. I rubbed it up and down my arm, and it made me feel better. I wandered what Butch was doing now and if he missed me as much as I missed him. I started to cry, but I couldn’t cry, “Men don’t cry”. Dad had told Butch and me that when he was in the war he saw his buddies get killed right next to him and he didn’t cry. “If you don’t cry when you see your buddies killed, you don’t cry over small things” , he told us.
I bit my lip harder and didn’t cry, “Men don’t cry over small stuff, and nobody is getting killed here. Besides Nathan is looking into it for me.”
A half an hour later, the building started to fill up with other campers; just like Nathan said it would. As each group came in they would scramble for their beds, laughing and hollering, it seemed like most of them already knew each other. I later learned that they came from church groups, and school groups, and so they did know each other. Within an hour the building was full and a boy by the name of Brett took the bunk above mine.
He seemed like a nice guy, he was part of the church group and knew a lot of the other boys. He asked me my name and introduced me around the some of his friends. I put the socks and T-shirt back in the suitcase and followed Brett around.
“I was OK, just like Butch said it would be, but why didn’t he come with me to Eagles Nest? Maybe they didn’t allow 10 year olds in Eagles Nest... that must be it.”
Nathan stuck his head in the door and hollered, “Its dinner time guys, come on lets go to dinner. Follow me”There must have been 20 boys in our building so with the other building there were about 40 of us walking down the hill heading for this long narrow building that they called The Mess Hall. Inside there were long tables with plastic plates, plastic glasses and silverware. I just stayed with Brett. In the center of the table was a big medal pitcher full of what they called “bug juice”. We all got in a line that went to the front of the mess hall and these older guys put food on our plates. I just followed Brett.
Nathan explained, “There’s bug juice and the pitcher, if you want milk it’s in the machine upfront.”Brett didn’t go to get milk, so I didn’t go to get milk. I drank “bug juice”.
After dinner we fooled around in the area outside our building, climbing ropes, and running through the woods. They had a chinning bar, which I was pretty good at. I could chin myself more times then any of Brett’s friends. I started to feel like a part of the group.
As it started to get dark Nathan told us to get ready to go to campfire. “Put on a jacket, it will get cold tonight and bring your flashlights, because it will be real dark when we come back. Don’t turn your flashlights on at campfire or it will be taken away for the rest of the week.”
I rumaged through my suit case and got my metal flashlight. I had never owned a flashlight before, we always had to use someone else’s when we played kick the can. The brochure had been very clear that every camper had to bring a flash light, and I had mine. I had wanted to use it at home but Dad wouldn’t let me for fear that I would ware out the batteries, after all I was going to need it for six weeks at camp.
We all marched down to the campfire area. There must have been 100 boys there, all sitting in a big horseshoe going up 10 rows around a big campfire, it was huge. All the counselors were introduced, and each one told us about some of the things we were going to be doing over the next week. We sang songs, church songs and camping songs. Then one of the counselor’s told a ghost story. It was scary, but it was fun. I saw Butch over on the other side of the campfire with his group. They didn’t have on cowboy hats or cowboy boots that I could see, but he seemed to be having good time and so was I.
The head counselor explain that the bugle would blow at 7:30 in the morning and we were to brush your teeth and head down to the lake in our under ware and flip flops for a bath. After the bath we would go back to our camp area, get dressed and go to breakfast before the day’s activities.
Nathan gathered us together, and we headed back to Eagles Nest with our flashlights on. There was a lot a lot of laughing and kidding, mouth farts, armpit farts, and just general 10-year-old boy fun. We made our way back to our building, and Nathan told us it was time to get ready for bed. I went to the bathroom, came back got into my PJ’s and crawled in the bed. Overall, it had been a good day, more ups then downs, and in general, I felt I would be OK. Often in the distance I heard the bugle playing taps, and I thought “This is neat, this is real camp.”I fell asleep.
In the morning I was awakened by the sound of the bugle, and Nathan screaming, “Hit theDeck, it’s time to get up, on the beach in five minutes in your underwear and flip-flops for a bath.”Although I was awake, I didn’t move, I didn’t open my eyes, and I hoped I was dreaming, I hoped that I was really home on Patricia Court. “I don’t want to be at camp I thought to myself.”
“How could this have happened, I went to the bathroom before I went to bed, I didn’t drink any the water before I went to bed, I only had one glass of “bug juice”. I did just like Dad told me to do, why did this happen to me?”
I had wet the bed; I had been waiting the bed since Mom died. I even wet the bed when Butch slept with me, and he used to complain to Dad, but there was nothing I could seem to do about it. I didn’t move, I didn’t know what to do, if I got up and other boys would see my PJ’s all wet, they would smell that smell, and they would laugh at me, they wouldn’t like me anymore, it wouldn’t matter that I could do more chin-up then them. They would think I was a baby, I wet the bed like a baby.
I pushed by face deep in the pillow, “I wish that I was at home.” At least there, I know how to deal with this; Dad and Butch have grown to expect this every morning. Butch wets the bed sometimes too. I closed my eyes tight, and I asked God to take this away, this cold wet feeling, this smell that I had learned to live with at-home, but was not prepared to share with these boys. I was cold. I was wet. I was ashamed. I was alone. I was here for six weeks. Again I asked God to take it away, I didn’t pray to Jesus or Mary anymore they had let me down when it really counted, I spoke to God himself. I closed my eyes real tight and prayed, “Please God make this go away and never come back again.” Nothing happened; I was still wet and cold.
"Where was Butch, why wasn’t he here? Why wasn’t I at Cowboy Camp with him, Dad had registered us that way.”Brett poked me and said, “Kobe it’s time to get up, wake up.”
"OK", I said, “I’m getting up” and I rolled over on my back. Now my butt was wet too.
Brett moved off to the bathroom, and I quickly got out of bed, grabbed some clean underwear stuffed my PJ’s under the blankets, slipped on my flip-flops and headed for the door.
I thought to myself, “I hope they don’t smell it, I hope it dries before tonight, I hope it doesn’t happen again, tonight. God please don’t let this happen again tomorrow.”
Nathan, led us down to the beach. Although what had happened was all over me no one seemed to notice, no one seemed to smell what was on me, maybe I would be OK.
At the lakeside everyone’s stripped off their underwear, set them on top other flip-flops, grabbed a bar of soap and ran into the cold lake for their early-morning bath. It crossed my mind that maybe the reason we were doing this, was that every body wet the bed last night.
The days at Camp Anacjegie were full of fun, swimming, canoeing, nature hikes, crafts, and just plain fun. But each night after campfire I would crawl into a wet smelly bed, and hope that it would remain my secret through the end of the week. I prayed to God and my dead Mom to look over me and to not let it happen to me again tonight. It was wet in the middle of the mattress so I would try to stay to the side to avoid the wet. Each night the smell got worse and I feared that the other boys would smell it. If I can just stop drinking bug juice maybe it will stop.
On the third morning as I was coming back from the lake bath and Nathan grabbed my arm. “Come outside with me Kobie”.
“Kobie, I know you’ve got up problem and I’d like to help you with it.”
Oh no, there’s that feeling again, he knows, and he’s going to tell everyone.
“I think you and I need to take the mattress off your bed and hang it over the line behind the building and send your sheets and blankets to the laundry. We can do that when the other boys go to breakfast this morning, and it can stay our secret. Is that okay with you?”
“Yes sir, that’s okay with me.”
“Starting tonight, I’m going to wake you up around midnight and take you to the bathroom and we’ll see if that doesn’t stop this problem, is that okay with you Kobe.”
“Yes sir, that’s okay with me.”
Nathan and I waited until the last boy left building, I told Brett that I had to get something and I would catch up, so save me a seat next to him at breakfast.Nathan helped me carry the mattress out back, it smelled bad, but Nathan didn’t say anything. He gave me a cloth bag and I stuffed the sheets, blanket and my PJ’s into it. He took the bag and told me to go catch up with the other boys.
For the next six weeks Nathan or some other guy got me up every night at midnight, and I went to the bathroom . I wish I could say, that was the end of the problem, but it wasn’t . I had many more accident, but Nathan and I took care of it just as we had before. When I prayed at night I thanked God and my dead Mom for Nathan, I stopped asking for their help with my problem. I had learned those kind of prayers just don’t work like Butch has said when Mom died.
I don’t know why I had such a bed-wetting problem . I suspected had something to do with something that happened with Mom. I don’t know. At home, after camp, my bed-wetting problem continued. When I was in ninth grade Mom and Dad bought a metallic sheet that went under my regular sheet and when I’d peed an alarm would go off. It really didn’t do any good. I guess the alarm was supposed to wake me up and stop me from peeing, but instead it woke everyone else up and I had to get up and put on clean sheets before everyone went back to bed. It only lasted for about a week and then I was back to getting up each morning in a wet bed and washing my sheets.I continued to wet the bed off and on up until I went to junior high school. I would get up early each morning, strip my sheets, take then to the washing machine, and then the dryer and remake my bed all before I went to school. I became pretty good at doing laundry.
As I look back on my problem, and I suspect most kids have some kind of problem, the worst part of it was that it was my problem. I had full ownership of it, I shouldered full responsibility for it; only Nathan showed any willingness to make my problem his problem.
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